4. Demystifying Gender and Transgender: As I pointed out last night, gender is something we all experience, whether we're happy about that or not. Strangely enough, it's also under-studied and under-thought-about by most of us. After the period of early childhood where we learned to distinguish between the correct time to say "he" and the correct time to say "she," most of us just tend to think we know what's going on. Until, that is, we encounter the boundaries gender puts up in our lives. Sometimes that happens because we want to do something that is not typically considered acceptable for someone of our gender. Sometimes it happens because we meet someone else who transgresses gender norms. Many (if not most) people become very uncomfortable when they encounter someone who does not behave as expected. We don't know how to be polite; we don't know what to make of such a person.
The fact is, though, we all transgress gender norms sometimes. There's no such thing as a completely masculine man or an entirely feminine woman. That's because if we look carefully at gender, we find that it doesn't make sense. Rationality is a traditionally masculine trait in the Western tradition. But I daresay we all know very rational women. Empathy is a traditionally feminine trait in the Western tradition. But no man could learn language without empathy. Sometimes the gender traits even contradict one another -- women are supposed to be both less than fully rational and also to be competent to raise rational sons. Eh? How's that again?
It's a mess.
But where there's a mess, there's a question.
5. Keeping a Record: I'm human. Yes, I know, some people will argue against that, since I'm one of those evil transgender persons. But yeah, human here. And that means my thoughts and understanding are subject to change as I learn and grow. Keeping a record of how these thoughts do grow and change is a good idea -- the changes themselves might even be worth thinking about as this blog grows.
6. Having Fun: Yes, being transgender is a Very Serious Business. But besides fighting for social justice and struggling to understand what's going on with gender, it's vital to maintain a sense of humour about being transgender, just as with any other aspect of life. I mean that literally -- it's vital. As in "absolutely necessary for life." The suicide rate and rate of drug use among transgender persons are appalling. We are ground down by daily life, by constant social disapprobation, and by alienation from the social sphere that we need as much as anyone else in order to thrive.
There are people who want us dead.
Really.
They actually get so upset over our very existence that they want us dead.
Some of them are willing to do something about that.
I defy them.
My defiance consists, in part, in my refusal to be ground down and in my insistence on harvesting as much happiness from life as it will yield. So if my posts sometimes look as though I'm ignoring the plight of my less fortunate brothers and sisters, remember this: I will not let the bastards grind us down.
Every time a transgender person laughs, a bigot is defeated.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Introductory Blog Post
Hi. Welcome to my blog. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm J.T., and I am a gay, transgender man, a gay "transman." This means I was born female-bodied, but am masculine gendered and am so oriented as to be attracted to other men. If that sounds bizarre, don't worry. It took me a while to figure it out. Too long.
I'm starting this for several reasons, not least of which is that people have asked me to make this passing notion a reality. The other reasons are
1. Visibility
2. Breaking Stereotypes
3. Sharing Ideas
4. Demystifying Gender and Transgender
5. Keeping a Record
6. Having Fun
That's what I've got so far. That, and that there are some reasons I'm not writing this blog. I am not writing it to pick up dates. I am not writing to satisfy curiosities about my (or anyone else's) genitalia, surgeries, hormones, chest shape, earlobes, or the like. I am not writing it to justify my (or anyone else's) existence. I am not asking permission.
1. Visibility: It's important for us to be out, to be visible. No, I don't think it's an obligation or anything, so I'm not demanding that people who choose to remain stealth come out of the closet. But the more people know us, the more the issues we have to deal with have a face for them. Questions of rights, social roles, and sometimes even our lives are personal, and they should be personal to more people. Every person who meets a transperson and likes hir is one less person objecting to hir using the right public restroom. And boy, do I wish the issues we deal with were as simple as negotiating pee space!
2. Breaking Stereotypes: Most of the images people have of transfolk are negative. We seem to be portrayed as serial killers in movies, dying, victims of social injustice, entertainers, prostitutes, or just those people your mother warned you about. And I do not intend to treat the subject of transgender persons (operative word: "persons") as though it is trivial or we are trivial or our lives are some kind of object lesson. But we need more positive voices speaking up. We need to show the world that while we struggle to be who we are, the struggle itself is not negative; our lives are not negative. It's just so amazingly wonderful to gain freedom from fear, from social proscription, from a life that is so constrained as to dictate that we never so much as feel comfortable while sitting in a chair among others, lest we give away our true natures, and this wonder ought to be shared. I suspect that many people who are not transgender will find that similar fears and proscriptions govern their own lives, and I hope that some (transgender or cisgender or whatever label is wanted or needed) people will use these parallels to improve life for all of us.
3. Sharing Ideas: All of us are affected by gender. Let me say that again: All of us are affected by gender. Whether we are happy with the gender assignment we were given at birth or not, whether we reject gender entirely, we are affected by gender. Until you read this sentence, you probably were not thinking about the chair you were sitting in. You would have just kind of expected it to work, right? But if it broke, you'd think about it. You'd look and see what happened, right? Well, some of us just don't match up with gender in the ways people tend to expect without thinking. And looking at our lives may give insight into what's going on with gender for all of us. Most websites about transpersons are about the effects of hormones, or about how to dress, or about the crushing, soul-killing experience of trying to live up to those ubiquitous expectations that just don't fit us. I want to write something different; I want to write about joy. Writing is nearly magic. While you read these words, your mind is thinking what my mind is thinking as I type them. I want to show you the joy.
More to come. Thanks for reading so far.
I'm starting this for several reasons, not least of which is that people have asked me to make this passing notion a reality. The other reasons are
1. Visibility
2. Breaking Stereotypes
3. Sharing Ideas
4. Demystifying Gender and Transgender
5. Keeping a Record
6. Having Fun
That's what I've got so far. That, and that there are some reasons I'm not writing this blog. I am not writing it to pick up dates. I am not writing to satisfy curiosities about my (or anyone else's) genitalia, surgeries, hormones, chest shape, earlobes, or the like. I am not writing it to justify my (or anyone else's) existence. I am not asking permission.
1. Visibility: It's important for us to be out, to be visible. No, I don't think it's an obligation or anything, so I'm not demanding that people who choose to remain stealth come out of the closet. But the more people know us, the more the issues we have to deal with have a face for them. Questions of rights, social roles, and sometimes even our lives are personal, and they should be personal to more people. Every person who meets a transperson and likes hir is one less person objecting to hir using the right public restroom. And boy, do I wish the issues we deal with were as simple as negotiating pee space!
2. Breaking Stereotypes: Most of the images people have of transfolk are negative. We seem to be portrayed as serial killers in movies, dying, victims of social injustice, entertainers, prostitutes, or just those people your mother warned you about. And I do not intend to treat the subject of transgender persons (operative word: "persons") as though it is trivial or we are trivial or our lives are some kind of object lesson. But we need more positive voices speaking up. We need to show the world that while we struggle to be who we are, the struggle itself is not negative; our lives are not negative. It's just so amazingly wonderful to gain freedom from fear, from social proscription, from a life that is so constrained as to dictate that we never so much as feel comfortable while sitting in a chair among others, lest we give away our true natures, and this wonder ought to be shared. I suspect that many people who are not transgender will find that similar fears and proscriptions govern their own lives, and I hope that some (transgender or cisgender or whatever label is wanted or needed) people will use these parallels to improve life for all of us.
3. Sharing Ideas: All of us are affected by gender. Let me say that again: All of us are affected by gender. Whether we are happy with the gender assignment we were given at birth or not, whether we reject gender entirely, we are affected by gender. Until you read this sentence, you probably were not thinking about the chair you were sitting in. You would have just kind of expected it to work, right? But if it broke, you'd think about it. You'd look and see what happened, right? Well, some of us just don't match up with gender in the ways people tend to expect without thinking. And looking at our lives may give insight into what's going on with gender for all of us. Most websites about transpersons are about the effects of hormones, or about how to dress, or about the crushing, soul-killing experience of trying to live up to those ubiquitous expectations that just don't fit us. I want to write something different; I want to write about joy. Writing is nearly magic. While you read these words, your mind is thinking what my mind is thinking as I type them. I want to show you the joy.
More to come. Thanks for reading so far.
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