4. Demystifying Gender and Transgender: As I pointed out last night, gender is something we all experience, whether we're happy about that or not. Strangely enough, it's also under-studied and under-thought-about by most of us. After the period of early childhood where we learned to distinguish between the correct time to say "he" and the correct time to say "she," most of us just tend to think we know what's going on. Until, that is, we encounter the boundaries gender puts up in our lives. Sometimes that happens because we want to do something that is not typically considered acceptable for someone of our gender. Sometimes it happens because we meet someone else who transgresses gender norms. Many (if not most) people become very uncomfortable when they encounter someone who does not behave as expected. We don't know how to be polite; we don't know what to make of such a person.
The fact is, though, we all transgress gender norms sometimes. There's no such thing as a completely masculine man or an entirely feminine woman. That's because if we look carefully at gender, we find that it doesn't make sense. Rationality is a traditionally masculine trait in the Western tradition. But I daresay we all know very rational women. Empathy is a traditionally feminine trait in the Western tradition. But no man could learn language without empathy. Sometimes the gender traits even contradict one another -- women are supposed to be both less than fully rational and also to be competent to raise rational sons. Eh? How's that again?
It's a mess.
But where there's a mess, there's a question.
5. Keeping a Record: I'm human. Yes, I know, some people will argue against that, since I'm one of those evil transgender persons. But yeah, human here. And that means my thoughts and understanding are subject to change as I learn and grow. Keeping a record of how these thoughts do grow and change is a good idea -- the changes themselves might even be worth thinking about as this blog grows.
6. Having Fun: Yes, being transgender is a Very Serious Business. But besides fighting for social justice and struggling to understand what's going on with gender, it's vital to maintain a sense of humour about being transgender, just as with any other aspect of life. I mean that literally -- it's vital. As in "absolutely necessary for life." The suicide rate and rate of drug use among transgender persons are appalling. We are ground down by daily life, by constant social disapprobation, and by alienation from the social sphere that we need as much as anyone else in order to thrive.
There are people who want us dead.
Really.
They actually get so upset over our very existence that they want us dead.
Some of them are willing to do something about that.
I defy them.
My defiance consists, in part, in my refusal to be ground down and in my insistence on harvesting as much happiness from life as it will yield. So if my posts sometimes look as though I'm ignoring the plight of my less fortunate brothers and sisters, remember this: I will not let the bastards grind us down.
Every time a transgender person laughs, a bigot is defeated.
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